Maybe you have heard the term gaslight, but aren’t exactly sure what it means. Gaslighting is an emotional and psychological abuse tactic your partner will use for control to make you question your sanity for addressing their actions.
The personality of a gaslighter has deeply rooted insecurities and unresolved emotional wounds which keep them feeling inferior to you. On one hand, your partner admires and envies specific qualities about you, like inner strength, but on the other hand, they resent you for it. This type of partner tends to create a constant struggle within the relationship dynamic because they feel inadequate next to their partner.
Most of the time, gaslighting is so subtle that when it happens you may not even notice until it begins to become a repetitive pattern in the relationship. Your partner will manipulate you into thinking everything is your fault so they don’t have to take responsibility for their behaviors.
Here 7 Classic Phrases By Gaslighters:
1.That Never Happened
They use denial as a way to avoid their responsibility for an event that occurred between you and your partner. By flat out denying it ever happened, they make you question your own intuition and gut feeling of what transpired during the discord. This can make you become more dependent upon the abuser, as you begin to not trust yourself.
2.You’re Too Sensitive
Your partner says that you are too sensitive when having a conversation. They use this tactic to deflect the topic of conversation from looking at their actions to focusing on you. This can cause you to feel belittled and begin to question your perception of the event almost as if you emotionally blacked out and forgot critical details. Once your partner breaks down your self-esteem enough, you are less likely to address your partner’s abuse because you feel emotionally drained and overwhelmed.
3.Your Memory Is Awful
A gaslighter partner will often use countering as a manipulation tactic on you to make you question your own recollection of events. While everyone can be forgetful at times, the abusive partner will use it to their advantage for complete control.
4.You’re Crazy Just Like Everyone Says
Your partner may bring in other individuals into the conversation to support their diversion from themselves. They may even go out of their way to convince family members or friends that you are mentally not stable in the relationship. This exacerbates the discord creating more emotional toxicity in the relationship so you feel you have no way out.
5.I’m Sorry You Think I Hurt You
Your partner will use backhanded apologies to deflect accountability and place blame on you. The thought of them ever apologizing wouldn’t even cross their mind because they are never wrong. This may cause you to question your sanity and wonder if they are overreacting or just flipping the script onto you.
6.You Should Have Known How I Would React
Again the gaslighter is making you feel guilty for the things they said or have done in this situation. The goal is to get you to feel sorry for them so you forget exactly how they upset you. Your partner wants you to be the one who caused the conflict so they can go back to living life the way they know best...avoiding.
Your gaslighter will try to say you are controlling when you try to hold them accountable to standards and values. They dislike being told what to do or what needs to change in the relationship because they are the ones who need to be in control. This only makes them pull back until they have control over you again.
If you are experiencing some of these gaslighting phrases with your partner, then you are in an emotionally abusive relationship. However, know that you have a choice to stay, walk away, or seek professional help with a relationship coach. You don’t deserve to feel like your own mental abilities are questionable as your relationship is meant to elevate your lifestyle and bring deeper meaning and purpose. Please reach out to us so we can help you set boundaries with your partner, or begin your healing journey.