Feeling frustrated with where you are at in your relationship? You are doing everything in your power not to lose your cool but your emotions are at an all-time high as you are barely sleeping at night. Every time you bring things up to talk about how you are feeling with your partner, they either dismiss your emotions or gaslight you by flipping the script back onto you.
You and your partner have great chemistry and talk about future relationship goals, but the day-to-day interactions seem to leave you in an uproar because it feels like you come second to last in their life. While you feel amazing when together, you are confused about what happens when you are apart. It's almost as if you are dating two different people.
The ups and downs are starting to take a toll on your emotional health, but you can’t let go because you want the relationship to be consistent every day. One minute you are in love and the next minute you got one foot out the door, questioning whether or not you should stay or go.
Here Are 6 Things To Turn Your Relationship Right Side Up:
1. Establish A Safe Space For Honest Communication
It can be challenging to turn your relationship around if you or your partner don’t feel safe communicating your deepest concerns. Keeping things bottled up or not fully expressing your thoughts can leave you feeling unfulfilled or even having resentment until you see your partner again.
Creating a safe space for you and your partner can allow each of you to open up and talk about what you need in the relationship without fear of judgment. This will create alignment with each other and help get on the same page. The goal of forming a secure connection with your partner comes from honoring the relationship as a whole versus making it about you versus them. When you are able to share in a way that doesn’t attack your partner's character and ask for what you need, you will have a sense of relief and openness that gives you each a sense of inner peace.
Relationship Tip: Showing vulnerability is key to building deeper emotional intimacy and overcoming your differences as a team.
2. Have Empathy For Your Partner’s Perspective
While you may be feeling at a crossroads in your connection, being able to show empathy for your partner’s perspective shows mutual respect for the relationship. As much as you may feel like you are the one putting in all the work to keep the relationship together, understanding the way your partner thinks or feels about a particular situation will only bring them closer to you.
If you are set on things being your way or feeling like you have already made changes yet they still aren’t doing enough to meet your needs, then taking a step back and deciding what’s important to you may be key to helping you adjust your mindset. Wanting immediate changes will not happen overnight as you or your partner may have old emotional wounds or expectations from past relationships. Transformation takes time, so having patience and perseverance will be helpful as you shift the dynamic of your relationship.
Relationship Tip: Patience will be your friend while seeking understanding with your partner.
3. Express Your Needs From A Place of Value
Using emotion to express your needs can derail your relationship goals, as emotions are often one-sided based on your beliefs. When you are trying to get your partner to be on the same page, using your relationship values will be helpful in expressing your most inner thoughts and feelings without emotionally flooding your partner or creating further discord.
Values help you communicate in a way that allows your partner to understand what you need to find common ground. Values can be seen as a universal language that holds stronger weight than emotions because they are basic fundamentals of how people operate in life and come from a place of logic. A partner is more likely to be receptive when they can understand their partner when using a calm, concise, and constructive style of communication.
Relationship Tip: Values will have you showing up confident as a high-value partner.
4. Set Boundaries With A Mutually Agreed Upon Plan To Meet Your Needs And Repair The Disconnect
Setting boundaries is the ultimate relationship skill you will need to shift your relationship from discomfort to better alignment. When you set boundaries you are asking your partner to work with you because you value them in your life. Boundaries are the lifeline to working through differences amicably and coming up with a mutually beneficial plan of how you will each adjust your approach to finding a solution that works for both of you.
When an argument occurs in a relationship, typically means you are at odds on a topic or an adjustment needs to take place to support the growth of the relationship. If you can look at conflict as a positive opportunity for growth, you and your partner will be able to repair the disconnect much quicker than letting conflict control the outcome of your relationship.
Relationship Tip: Boundaries are your best friend when staying aligned with your partner.
5. Plan A Date Night Once A Week
A lot of times, the reason the relationship may feel like it's on the rocks is that it's not being cherished consistently each week. While you are both go-getters in your career, your relationship may have taken a backseat to work or social events. Putting your relationship at the bottom of the totem pole is the easiest way to let it die out.
Instead, you and your partner will need to plan a date once a week that’s away from all distractions where your relationship feels like a priority. Making your relationship a priority can help your partner make you feel more like a priority in their lifestyle and not come last. This also shows you are valuing the connection and making quality time to spend time together.
Relationship Tip: Daily touches of communication are important but the quality time one night a week is essential for long-term growth.
6. Honor Emotional Check-ins Once A Month To Talk About Relationship Goals
Life can get pretty busy at times, especially if you or your partner travel for work. It can be challenging to stay connected if you are in an entrepreneurial or executive position, as you may tend to wear many hats in your professional life. However, your love life will not require as much attention as your work life, it is important to have monthly check-ins to make sure you are on the same page and striving towards the same relationship goals.
Relationships can change over time, so once a month it's good to talk about anything that may impact your partner or your relationship so you can prepare how to manage during those times. Simply not having monthly check-ins is the easiest way to lose track of what you each need to sustain a healthy love.
Relationship Tip: Check-ins keep the connection healthy and active for the better to support your goals.