How to Quit People-Pleasing at Work and Tell Your Co-Workers and Boss to Back All the Way Up

J.Yuhas
2 days ago
2 min read

You might think saying “yes” to everything makes you a good team player, but constantly prioritizing others over yourself comes at a steep cost. People-pleasing at work leads to burnout, resentment, and feeling invisible despite all your effort.

The good news? You can flip the script.

It’s not about becoming difficult; it’s about honoring your limits, communicating clearly, and gaining respect without losing your integrity.

What a People-Pleaser Looks Like

People-pleasers often go unnoticed for the wrong reasons. You might recognize yourself in these patterns:

Saying “yes” to every task, even when overloaded
Avoiding conflict or difficult conversations
Over-explaining or over-apologizing
Taking responsibility for others’ problems
Constantly seeking approval
Working after hours or overtime without pay

While these behaviors may seem “helpful,” over time they drain your energy and stunt your professional growth.

How People-Pleasing Starts

People-pleasing usually begins subtly:

Volunteering for extra work to earn favor
Saying yes to last-minute requests, even when inconvenient
Avoiding tough feedback conversations to keep peace
Overcommitting to appear reliable or likable
Projecting unhealed familial patterns at work

If left unchecked, colleagues may start to expect constant compliance, making it harder to assert yourself later.

Signs You’re Caught in the Cycle

Ask yourself:

Do you feel stressed or burnt out despite being a “team player”?
Are you resentful of coworkers or managers?
Do you feel invisible or undervalued?
Do you struggle to prioritize your own work or goals?
Do you prioritize work over self-care and time off?

If these sound familiar, it’s a signal that your people-pleasing habits are holding you back.

How to Set Boundaries Without Guilt

Stopping people-pleasing is about setting healthy boundaries while maintaining professionalism. Here’s how to start:

Know Your Limits and Triggers. Protect your workload and emotional energy. Saying I'm unavailable at the moment is strategic, not selfish.
Communicate Assertively. Use clear, confident language: “I can’t take this on right now, but I can help brainstorm a solution.”
Protect Your Time. Resist answering emails or requests outside work hours unless necessary.
Focus on Impact, Not Approval. Prioritize tasks that align with your goals rather than chasing praise.
Document Your Wins. Keep a record of your contributions; it reinforces your value without needing external validation.

Why Quitting People-Pleasing Changes Everything

When you stop saying yes to everything, you gain:

Respect from colleagues and a boss who recognizes your competence and boundaries
More focus and clarity on meaningful work
Less stress and burnout
Greater salary negotiation power and confidence

Take Control of Your Professional Life

People-pleasing isn’t a character flaw; it’s a habit that can be changed. The key is awareness, boundary-setting, and consistency.

Boundary Badass, our International Bestselling Book, gives you strategies and tools to say no confidently, manage tough conversations, and protect your energy at work. Stop reacting to everyone else’s agenda and start being recognized for your true contributions.

Or Grab The Boundary Code scripts. The work is done for you on how to address people who take advantage of you. Just put the scripts in action and watch how others respond.

Your career should revolve around your goals, not others’ expectations. Step up, set limits, and watch your professional life thrive.