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The Power of Asking for What You Want, Rather Than Demanding (So You Get It!)




Being a savvy business owner requires more than just great ideas--it demands working with dedicated teams, managing client relationships and suppliers, marketing your products or services as well as looking after the wellness of staff. Nurturing workplace wellness increases productivity and performance, as each of these actions weaves together into the foundation of an organization's triumph!


Even the most powerful executives can find themselves in tricky predicaments when it comes to their personal relationships. Knowing how and when to let go of management mode is key for a harmonious connection with your loved ones - after all, telling them what's best isn't always going to get you the results you desire!


While you have a big heart and mean well when giving advice, people on the receiving end may take offense to your suggestions or feel micromanaged.


Here are some healthy ways to engage in your personal relationships:


1. Ask, Please Don’t Tell

While you may be used to telling employees, vendors, or clients to complete tasks, it’s important to ask loved ones to work with you in your personal relationships to show mutual respect for the connection. It demonstrates collaboration for better alignment so you can remain on good terms, knowing you each share an equal role in the relationship.


When people feel powerless or voiceless in a connection it can cause them to disengage or do things you may find disrespectful. While it may be a hard pill to swallow, it’s important to communicate in a way where there is an open dialogue using a ping-pong effect to form mutual agreements that honor the relationship.

2. Listen More, Talk Less

Strong communication is the foundation of successful relationships, but if you're doing all the talking then chances are high that key details are being overlooked. Evidence shows us how powerful active listening can be in conversations; it's not enough to just hear what people say—you must listen with intention and cultivate mutual understanding. When we take an extra moment to actively receive input from others, relationship boundaries remain intact while dynamic dialogues flourish!


In fact, psychology studies show 93% of communication is non-verbal and only 7% verbal during a conversation exchange. This explains how important active listening skills are for relationship success and building long-term connections. Listening can make a huge impact on the conversation while preventing misunderstandings or boundary violations.


3. Give, But Create Space To Receive

There’s no doubt how much you enjoy giving to others but people-pleasing can actually hinder your relationships and push people away or keep you from receiving what you desire most. Healthy relationships are a balance of two people who are willing to give and receive versus one person overcompensating to keep the relationship alive. It most likely won’t equal from time to time, but if you are doing all the giving then you are selling yourself short.


Even if you desire someone to be in your life and they show resistance, you have to remind yourself you can’t save or fix a romantic partner, family member, or friend. It can be good to reassess how is this person bringing value to your life. How often do they initiate conversations or make plans to spend quality time together? Are they emotionally dumping on you all the time or offering a listening ear too?


4. Set Boundaries, Not Ultimatums

This takes us back to number one, ask please don’t tell. Healthy boundaries allow you to maintain mutual respect in your relationships so each individual feels respected, valued, heard, and understood. But, you will need to ask a person to form an agreement after a boundary violation has occurred. If you don’t ask them to respect and honor the boundary out of respect for the relationship, then they probably won’t respect it because they have no voice in the decision-making process.


Ultimatums are dictating people to do things that often fall on deaf ears and they will most likely not listen or comply. The receiver will feel like they are being controlled versus understanding your emotional needs where behaviors need to alter to continue the relationship.


5. Be Transparent, But Don’t Overshare

While it's healthy to be transparent, some details are better left unsaid. If you tend to overshare before a connection is established then it can hinder the growth of the relationship. Oversharing can be important when it comes to giving instructions or learning something new.


But, when it comes to personal relationships you don’t want to emotionally flood someone or give them too much information before you trust them. It can be an open invitation for others to manipulate the situation if you are in the initial stages of getting to know someone or there’s a past history of them twisting and turning the information to use against us.


Being transparent can build healthy relationships so you can establish trust but knowing whether or not this person has similar intentions for growing the connection can take time.


If you are an entrepreneur who has it all figured out in your professional life but seems to fall short when it comes to your personal relationships then check out boundary coaching for personal growth.


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