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Why Making Assumptions in Relationships Could Lead To Resentment


When we interact with others, assumptions often sneak in automatically without even realizing it. Assumptions are shaped by our perceptions and beliefs, steering our choices and sometimes leading us into misunderstandings.

Whether it's in personal connections, work relations, or everyday chats, assuming things about how others act can throw a wrench into effective communication and connection.

Let's dig into why assuming things about someone else's behavior can lead to greater conflict versus a healthy resolution of mutual understanding:

The Trap of Assumptions

One big reason for miscommunication and discord is our tendency to believe we know exactly what others are thinking or feeling just from what they do or say. It's like we've got this mental shortcut that fills in the blanks without clear evidence or clarity. So, we end up projecting our own ideas onto their actions, often creating an impasse or displacing expectations.

Think about when a friend bails on plans last minute. Instead of checking in, we might jump to thinking they don't care about us or our time. But in reality, they might be dealing with something heavy that destroyed their mood for the day. When we assume without asking open-ended questions to understand, we risk getting in our own way and maybe even hurting the relationship.

The Filter of Perception

Our perceptions act like rose tinted glasses, coloring how we see the world. But these glasses are tinted by our experiences, beliefs, and even past traumas, making our view pretty subjective. What one person sees as assertive, someone else might see as aggressive. And what seems like indifference to one person might just be shyness to another.

This mix of perspectives can easily stir up misunderstandings with loved ones or work colleagues, especially if we judge someone before assessing. Each of us sees things from our own angle, often forgetting to step into someone else's shoes. Without open talks and a bit of empathy, assumptions can run wild, driving us apart instead of bringing us together.


The Key: Communication

The best way to untangle misunderstandings is through effective communication and healthy boundaries. When we communication openly and honestly, we can clear up assumptions, sort out misunderstandings, and build trust. Instead of assuming, we can get curious, ask questions, and really listen to what others have to say.

So, in that scenario with our friend canceling plans last minute, instead of stewing in resentment, we might reach out and ask what's up. Maybe they're going through a rough patch, and our support could mean a lot. By doing this, we not only get a better understanding of their situation but also strengthen our friendship through honesty and empathy.

And if we find out they just forgot or aren't feeling it, we can still talk it out, setting boundaries and respecting each other's time to prevent future hangups.

As we come across all sorts of people in life, let's remember the power of seeing things from different angles, the danger of assuming too much, and the magic of real, honest conversations. By doing that, we can navigate misunderstandings with a clearer head, more confidence, and greater respect.

And hey, always speak up for what you value!


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