J.Yuhas
- 4 min read

15 Signs They are Unhealthy That May Shock You

Do you feel like something is off in your relationship, but you can’t put your finger on it?

More often than not toxic red flags don’t show up right away in relationships. Often months or even years can go by before someone’s true colors start to show. Why? This is because the partner who is toxic generally needs time to emotionally get you hooked on them before their dark side becomes known.

They may be charming, funny, and exciting at first, but it’s only a matter of time before the toxicity will begin to erupt. It happens so slowly that often you won’t even recognize it until you’re already in love, making it that more challenging to walk away.

Here Are 15 Signs Your Relationship Is Unhealthy:

1.You Don’t Feel Supported

Life is full of ups and downs, yet your partner never seems to really be there to celebrate your wins or to help you overcome the losses. They only think about their needs and expect you to figure things out on your own.

2. Your Communication Is Volatile or Non-Existent

Communication with a toxic partner can be extremely stressful and often verbally abusive. You may experience criticism, passive aggressive digs, or hostility. On the contrary, you may also have a partner who stonewalls. They shut you out to punish you for challenging their beliefs.

3. You Have A Lack Of Trust

Neither you or your partner trust each other. This could be due to infidelity or a partner trying to have control over the other. Your partner may constantly question your whereabouts, ask to check your phone, or expect you to check-in with them every hour.

4.You Carry All The Financial Weight

Finances is often the number one reason for a relationship ending. If you are carrying all the financial weight, then your partner does not respect you. They are using you to foot the bill for the relationship while they spend their money on their own personal needs. This could be you being expected to pay big-ticket items like housing, travel, or even borrowing money without any intentions of paying you back.

5.You Feel Constantly Rejected or Judged By Them

They constantly put you down and make fun of you until you no longer feel confident about yourself. They may even reject you sexually making you feel undesirable. They do this because they are self-projecting their weaknesses or attachment issues onto you.

6.You Are Walking On Eggshells

You never know what mood they will be in. One day they are caring and the next they are a vampire. You constantly feel anxious to express your needs because you don’t want to deal with their wrath.

7.You Are Blamed For All The Relationship Problems

All relationships will have their disagreements from time to time. A toxic partner will refuse to take responsibility and admit any wrongdoing. They will flip the script and make you believe that you created the problem in the relationship and everything is your fault. They have a victim mentality.

8.Your Needs Aren’t Being Met

Your relationship values are connected to your self-worth when it comes to meeting your emotional needs with a partner. For example, you may value trust, honesty, compromise, equality, and communication. When you live according to your values this helps you feel at peace in your relationship and benefits the great whole of the relationship. However, a toxic partner will mostly likely not meet your values and keep you on an emotional rollercoaster of feeling undervalued.

9.You Hope Things Will Change

You are in a constant state of wishing things were different. You wish they would go back to being who they were when you met them. The truth is it was a facade and this is who they really are.

10.You Are Competitive With Each Other

There is a constant need for control in the relationship. The toxic partner is typically envious of their partner and looking for ways to one-up them. The competition can be about, but not limited to career titles, financial status, or even social status.

11.You Lack Boundaries

If you try to set boundaries with a toxic partner more than likely they will not respect it. They think they make the rules and refuse to respect what is healthy for the relationship. You’ll know when someone is crossing your boundaries because you will feel it in your gut. An internal siren will go off letting you know you are being disrespected.

12.You Are Fearful To Speak Up

You are scared to speak up about their behavior. You’re afraid if you express what is making you uncomfortable or unhappy they will leave you or become defensive. If you find yourself biting your tongue more often than you prefer, then your relationship is unhealthy. Over time this will make you feel unworthy and recognize your needs as not being important.

13.You Have More Negatives Than Positives

Everything seems fueled by drama and negative energy. You cannot remember the last time they did something nice for you or paid attention to your needs. Everyday feels like a constant struggle to get along.

14.You Feel Emotionally Provoked

They intentionally say things to provoke an emotional reaction from you. Because they thrive off of control they like watching you come unglued by being critical of the way you do things, making fun of you, or using your weaknesses against you.

15.You Put In All The Effort, Love, and Compromise

Relationships are a balance of give and take. If you are doing all the giving and receiving with very little in return, then your partner isn’t valuing you and stuck in a ME mindset. Love is about compromise and it takes having a WE mindset to achieve what is best for the relationship.

If any of these signs resonate with you, then you are in an unhealthy relationship. While you may accept some of these toxic traits now, over time it will begin to wear down your self-esteem and make it challenging to be happy. Toxic relationships thrive on unhealthy cycles and are often difficult to get out of it. We recommend speaking with a neutral relationship expert, like us, who can help you heal and do what is best for you. Choose you.