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How To Know If You Are Experiencing Emotional Invalidation

emotional invalidation

It’s human nature to want to express ourselves in a way that allows us to connect and share stories. This provides a sense of comfort where our feelings, thoughts, and emotions can be validated. 

But have you ever been in the midst of a conversation and they completely reject or ignore your feelings and thoughts? As you sit there you wonder if you said something that was offensive or they only responded with “You’re wrong”, “You’re overreacting”, or “You shouldn’t be so sensitive”. 

They may go as far as walking away from you, rolling their eyes, staring at you in silence, or picking up their phone to text. 

Emotional invalidation can lead to low self-esteem, isolation, physical aches and pains, or mental health issues if you continue to experience it repeatedly throughout the relationship. People who emotionally invalidate others have a difficult time processing the emotions of others. Or they are so preoccupied with their own feelings and life issues that they don’t have the bandwidth to listen. And sometimes people use it as a way to create distance or discord so they can disengage altogether and skip the conversation. 

Here are signs they are invalidating your emotions:

  • You feel like no matter how many times you express yourself they minimize the importance of your feelings

  • Anytime you do express your feelings they immediately become defensive to silence you 

  • They outright ignore you or avoid any discussion in hopes you’ll forgive and forget about it

  • They may make you feel as though you’re asking for too much because they struggle with showing empathy

  • They intentionally change the subject and redirect focus onto them

  • They may say things like “You’re too sensitive” so you’ll question yourself rather than the behavior that triggered you

  • They talk over you or interrupt what you’re trying to say so they don’t have to listen

emotional invalidatioin

If you are feeling are being ignored in your relationship and you no longer feel heard or understood you may need to set emotional boundaries or assess if this person has the capacity to meet your needs. To discover more about how to set boundaries or to determine if a relationship is repairable, sign up for a discovery call. 


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